Facial hair is something that defines men. Women can never really take this away from us. We are the only ones that are capable of growing a good amount of facial hair, and we are the only ones that will look good sporting it. Well, some styles look a little better than others. Let’s go over the major different types of facial hair, from the least amount of hair to the most amount.

Clean shaven: This is for the men who either can’t grow much facial hair, don’t like the look, don’t like the feel or simply look like a goof sporting any sort of style. It is pretty simple to maintain, but requires daily full shaves.

Mustache: Just a strip of hair on the upper lip. This style has been slowly going out of style, and younger men are sporting the mustache less and less as the trend is slowing down. There are some awkward stages in trying to grow the mustache, but once you have it going it looks pretty normal. You still need to shave every day; there is just a little less area to shave.

Goatee: This is basically a mustache that goes down and around the mouth. Your cheeks are still clean shaven, but you leave the spot around your mouth still grown out. This style looks good on some men but just terrible on others. You really need to have the ability to grow some good upper-lip hair to pull this off. Again, daily shaving is still needed but even less surface to shave than the mustache.

Neard: I think this is more of a joke. It stands for Neck-Beard. You shave everything except for your neck. This is only done when people are trying to look like a goof.

Chin strap: This is basically a strip that goes down your jaw line and connects at your chin. I have found it is difficult to keep the strip even without taking too much off.

The 5 o’clock shadow: This is my personal favorite. Just do a clean shave every other day. Or every three days. I typically go 5 days.

The Jesus Beard: Simply don’t shave, ever. If you want bum status, don’t cut your hair or shower either. The only time I can see this style acceptable is if you are getting ready for a role in a movie or Halloween.

Regardless of your typical style, be sure to experiment and enjoy your facial hair.

I have especially seen this in chin whiskers and mustaches.  Mustaches already look silly to begin with, and if you can’t grow one, DON’T TRY!  The stupidest form of facial hair I have seen are the teen-aged kids that have a few hairs coming out of their upper lip.  Is that a mustache or did you just not start shaving yet?

Also, I think it is silly when you have a couple strands coming out of your chin.  Facial hair should consist of thousands of hairs, not just a few scraggly ones.  Who do you think you are going to impress with that one?

What I also think is stupid about mustaches is that people get all sorts of food and drink stuck in their mustache.  How stupid does that make you look!??

As I sit here and write this, I think about what I would feel like if I had a mustache.  I would feel like a complete tool.

Not hating on anyone that has a mustache, I just think they are silly.

Rant over.

I wonder if this guy ever steps on his own mustache?  I could imageine that it would hurt.  Do you think he uses shampoo?